I know it is only going to get harder with 2, (I guess I should say 4 ) But today has been a nightmare! I just need to vent! Woke up this morning tired, as usual. Hubby has been working alot of hours lateley, dont get me wrong I am so blessed to have such a hardworking husband, and we are so lucky he has such an awesome job, but im just tired! My two little monsters came over about 930 am. And they were yelling so the world could here them and woke up Hakeai. Much to say he was pretty grumpy all morning. I made eggs for Hakeai, Jack and I (Tei doesnt like how I make them), got done eating and then Tei asked where his were? I felt like bursting into tears for being such a horrible wife and not saving any for him. Tei went to lay down with Hakeai since he was being a little beast, and I was just sitting here thinking about my sister which i have been doing alot lateley, Ethan and Jack were wrestling around and I kept telling them to stop because someone was going to get hurt and then of course Jack hit his head on our TV stand. He was hysterical, I burst into tears and have been thinking the rest of today, how am I going to get through days like this? I miss my sister like crazy. It started to get easier, and then I have dreams that she comes back and it ruins me. I sat in Hakeai's room for a good 15 mins and just cried. My hubby came in and held my hand and kept telling me he knows I can do this. The only thing that I felt would help, was to come back and hold my sisters 2 sweet little boys. Ethan came and cuddled up next to me, and Jack laid by me so I could rub his back. What a blessing these boys are to me! I started to feel a little better, then we took hubby to work, stopped at McDonalds to get the boys lunch, and they didnt give us straws! It wouldnt bother me so bad if I wasnt having this kind of day, but im pissed. Well then I get home, Hakeai in one arm, and all the drinks in the other and guess what happens? All the drinks tip over, fall on the ground, Jack cries because he is now wet, which means I cry too. We got inside and I laid with my litle boy trying to get him to sleep again, and I cant help but melt when he stares at me with those big brown eyes. Little moments like that, and cuddles from my nephews remind me even though I am having a bad day, I have 3 little boys that I mean so much to! It doesnt matter that I dont have a clean house all the time, I dont get ready everyday, I am so snippy with them sometimes, they love me unconditonally. My husband as well. Im very blessed but still, I WANT TODAY TO BE OVER! Thanks for letting me vent!
Our journey began thousands of miles away from each other when 2 people from different continents, different cultures, different languages fell in love. We were married August 8, 2009 for time and all eternity. We are the proud parents of Hakeai Henry Tatafu and soon to be parents of a sweet little girl!